🔑 Key Takeaways
- Feeling disconnected from oneself is a common issue, but internalizing therapy and connecting with our true selves can help. Dr. Tama Bryant's book, Homecoming, provides guidance to overcome fear and trauma and reclaim our authentic selves.
- Acknowledge the need for self-care and community care, even if one grew up with trauma. Admitting to feeling separated from oneself is the first step towards healing and rediscovering one's true self.
- Unhealthy relationships and toxic jobs can deter you from feeling worthy and disconnect you from yourself. Be compassionate towards yourself and don't settle for less than you deserve.
- Recognizing yourself as an eagle, not a chicken, and scanning your body for tension is the first step towards owning your identity. Healing past traumas is essential to fly high.
- Recognize the signs of disconnection, trauma, and discrimination. Give ourselves permission to tune into our internal experience and seek support. Arriving home to ourselves involves reconnecting with our power, voice, and sense of purpose.
- Society often portrays sadness as a weakness, causing individuals to mask their despair with anger and bitterness. Healing begins with accepting oneself and not being driven by trauma. When dealing with irritable depression, respond with softness to foster compassion.
- Take control of your own healing by focusing on inner change instead of external factors. Prioritize self-care and be transparent about your experiences to help others feel less judged. Ask deeper questions of yourself and don't wait for others to start your own journey.
- Nourish your physical health, recognize and acknowledge your emotions, and break patterns of high stress to build a positive relationship with yourself. Self-care is a sacred act of coming home to oneself.
- Learning and understanding each other's love languages along with incorporating faith and spirituality can aid in healing and finding healthier relationships. Combining spiritual practices with physical work can serve as motivation for a better mental state.
- Victims of mistreatment and discrimination should not blame themselves for something beyond their control. Recognizing cognitive distortions and reminding themselves that every human being deserves dignity and respect can help them heal. Speaking out against mistreatment is essential for their own well-being and for creating a better world.
- To achieve wholeness, create a morning ritual that includes activities like meditation, exercise, prayer, and reading inspirational material. Be mindful of toxic environments and adjust accordingly to show up feeling settled and slowed down.
- Take care of yourself and prioritize mental health resources. Use Dr. Thema Bryant's book for guidance on reclaiming your authentic self. Remember to be a light post for others and believe in yourself.
📝 Podcast Summary
Overcoming Psychological Homelessness and Finding Your Authentic Self
Psychological homelessness is feeling ungrounded and disconnected from oneself, and it is common in life. One way to overcome this is to internalize therapy and become one's own compass. It is essential to connect with the truth of who we are and come back home to ourselves. Anyone can achieve this by reading Dr. Tama Bryant's book, Homecoming, which helps overcome fear and trauma to reclaim one's whole authentic self. Mel Robbins and Dr. Tama Bryant's conversation on psychological homelessness and finding one's true self is inspiring and relatable. It is a profound reminder that anyone can feel whole and connect with themselves, given the right tools and guidance.
Overcoming Psychological Homelessness through Self-Awareness and Community Care
Feeling separated from oneself can lead to a sense of psychological homelessness and can make one neglect self-care. The first step towards healing is awareness followed by self-care and community care. Self-care isn't selfish and acknowledging that one deserves the goodness that they want others to experience is important. Even if one grew up with stress and trauma, they can still come home to themselves by telling themselves the truth and living according to it. Admitting 'I miss myself' is a powerful awakening. Psychological homelessness can be identified through questions about internal and external satisfaction, feelings of hopelessness, lack of motivation, and emotional numbness. Awareness is the first step towards healing.
The Importance of Connecting with Yourself
Unhealthy relationships and toxic jobs can make you disconnect from yourself. It's impossible to survive relationships where you are being dishonored perpetually and still be at home with yourself. When you are disconnected from yourself, you can't dream, imagine, or believe that better is possible for you. You don't even feel worthy of it. The good news is that even if you have never met yourself, you can come home to yourself. This is a process that requires compassion for yourself because it's not easy. Remember the West African fable of the eagle who couldn't fly because he thought he was a chicken. You are not a chicken, so don't settle for less than you deserve.
Owning Your Identity: Recognizing Trauma and Healing to Soar High
Many people have been treated like chickens in their lives and have not felt comfortable being themselves or feeling at home in their identity. However, it is essential to recognize that we are not chickens but eagles, and we should fly. Healing is necessary to facilitate our journey back to who we genuinely are, and we must own our full identity. This journey's initial step is to recognize that we are eagles in disguise and take the breath scan to begin to scan our bodies to notice any place where we're holding tension and release them through self-compassion and clarity. Recognizing and healing the traumas of the past is vital in owning our identity and flying high.
Returning Home to Ourselves: Overcoming Disconnection, Despair, and Lack of Purpose
When we feel disconnected from ourselves, we may experience despair, hopelessness, and a lack of purpose. Returning home to ourselves involves noticing these signs and reconnecting with our power and voice. Trauma and discrimination can make it difficult to relax and tune in to our internal experience. It's helpful to give ourselves permission, with support, to look at the signs of disconnection. When we don't have a sense of purpose, it may be a code word for feeling disconnected. Attitude may also be a form of depression that reflects feelings of despair. By noticing these signs and opening ourselves up to support, we can begin the journey home to ourselves.
Digging Deep: Uncovering Despair and Coping Mechanisms
Underneath anger, bitterness, and attitude lies despair, which is often masked due to societal beliefs that sadness is a weakness. Our coping mechanisms vary, with some using busyness and excellence to overlook their wounds, but it catches up with us eventually. Healing is accepting and loving oneself and not being driven by trauma or insecurities. When dealing with someone with irritable depression, practicing softness and compassion is necessary instead of being combative, as they may be in warrior mode. Responding with softness to their intensity can help in fostering a compassionate environment.
Prioritizing Self-Care and Responsibility for Personal Healing
Don't settle in any area of your life, if you feel unsettled, it means there's something you need to change. Instead of focusing on external factors, shift your focus inward and take responsibility for your healing. Don't wait for someone else's apology or healing to start your own journey. Take action even if you don't feel it yet. Self-care is critical, and you need to make it a priority. Remember to ask yourself deeper questions like what's helping you manage, or what you need when someone asks how you're doing instead of giving a scripted response of 'fine.' Lastly, transparency is contagious, and sometimes sharing your own experiences helps others feel less judged.
The Importance of Self-Care for Building a Positive Relationship with Oneself
Self-care is a crucial step to come home to oneself. It involves nourishing every aspect of oneself, including physical health, such as ditching fake foods, eating greens, and drinking water, prioritizing sleep, and avoiding excessive screen time at night. Additionally, self-care involves recognizing and acknowledging one's emotions to lean into discomfort and get familiar with calmness. People often mistake peace for boredom and think being calm is fake or unfamiliar. This mindset often stems from a lack of familiarity with love and care. It's essential to create new experiences and break the patterns of high stress. Therefore, self-care is a sacred act of beginning to care for oneself and building a positive relationship with oneself.
The Role of Love Languages and Spirituality in Mental Health and Healing
Learning each other's love languages is important. Mental health professionals often endorse a lower level of spirituality than the general public due to the need to prove everything in higher education. Spirituality is an awareness of the sacred beyond what we can see. Faith and belief in something you have not experienced is essential for healing and repair. Operating based on evidence from bad experiences can lead to unworthiness, and it's important to realize that there can be more and to seek more healthy relationships. Combining spiritual practice with physical work can provide the motivation necessary for healing.
Recognizing and Overcoming Cognitive Distortions as the Key to Healing from Mistreatment and Discrimination
It is essential to realize that it's not your fault when you experience mistreatment or discrimination. Victims usually blame themselves for something that is beyond their control, which is a cognitive distortion, a false thought, or a lie. The belief that every human being deserves certain things can disrupt this cognitive distortion. For example, for people molested, the thought that it's their fault is false because developing breasts early doesn't make them deserve to be abused. It's crucial to recognize these cognitive distortions to realize that it's not their fault. Keeping quiet about mistreatment doesn't keep peace; it only makes it easy for everybody else while destroying the victim.
Nourish Yourself Before Starting Your Day
When we start to come back home to ourselves, we may need to stop holding the peace for other people. Some individuals may not be happy with our growth and we might have to leave toxic environments. It is important to create a morning ritual to nourish ourselves before we start the day. This can include activities like meditation, exercise, prayer, and reading inspirational material. This will help us to show up to our workplaces and personal relationships feeling settled and slowed down. We need to be mindful of the people in our lives who prefer us broken and make adjustments accordingly. It's scary to confront these things, but it's necessary to achieve wholeness.
Prioritizing Mental Health and Self-Care on the Journey Home to Yourself.
Remember that you are more than your labor or your role in a relationship. Take care of yourself and prioritize finding resources for mental health, such as university training clinics or community care programs. Dr. Thema Bryant's book Homecoming offers guidance for overcoming fear and trauma to reclaim your whole authentic self. End each day by inviting your soul to tell your heart, mind, body, and spirit: Welcome home. We are all on a journey to find our way back home to ourselves, and it's important to be a light post for others along the way. Remember that you are worthy of this journey and believe in yourself to create a better life.